How to Interact with the Non-Girly Girl

The worst has happened! You have been forced to interact with a different kind of girl that has not been pre approved to join your friendship circle. This is a very specific type of girl and you know who I’m talking about. She dislikes most girls and she tries to blend in with the guys (and dress like them too on occasion). She doesn’t own a dress, thinks that sneakers are an appropriate replacement for heels and does not look hot with her hair pushed back.

Unfortunately, the two of you will never be friends. Sorry to break it to you, but you guys just come from different worlds. You can definitely be amicable but you will never be besties.

Besides, she already hated you from the moment you walked in with your super cute fur vest and bright red lipstick. For some reason, the non-girly girl does not take well to the girly girl’s arrival on the scene. Most likely because people are immediately smitten with you and want to buy you drinks as soon as you walk in the door. #sorryimnotsorry

Maybe we're not in that book because everybody likes us. And I don't want to be punished for being well liked. And I don't think my father, the inventor of toaster strudel, would be too pleased to hear about this.

Anyways, this is how you handle her!

Compliment something she is wearing

I know, It’s going to be an almost impossible feat to find something to compliment but you have to do it. She already hates you so you have to be super nice to prove that you are not the bitch she thinks you are (even though you really are).

Just be like “OMG, I love your button up flannel shirt. So chic!” Yea, I would rather die than wear that shirt but it’s cool- she doesn’t need to know that part.

Find a common ground

Try to find a topic that she is really interested in. If she is interested in the subject she will ramble on about it for a while and you can act like you’re listening but are really just eyeing the hot tall guy by the bar. The topic of conversation will most likely be softball or baseball hats.

A 5-10 minute conversation with her will be just the right amount of time to thaw her icy heart and make her your friend- well your frenemy at the least. Then you can move on with your life and continue on your journey to the bar where the hot guy is.

Be aware that you shouldn't engage in too long of a conversation with the non girly girl because she might be a bad influence on you. After a few conversations, you start hanging out together and the next thing you know, you're wearing sweat pants to a bar and wearing clear nail polish. Eww!

How to Be Bullied into Things

As a girly girl you are often the peer pressurer, the dealmaker and the con artist of your group of friends. You are the mover of the chess pieces of life (but you don’t actually play chess in a geeky way obviously . . .eww).

The point is, you are usually so busy trying to get people to do what you want them to do that you might not realize when the tables have turned on you my friend! You are now the person at the whim of others. And now you’ve been conned into some elaborate scheme that will probably land you in jail when all you really wanted to do with your night was sit on your couch and plan your imaginary yet beautiful wedding to Afrojack!

But alas floral arrangements and color schemes are a thought of the past as you contemplate your current situation.

It always starts with the smallest request from your dear friend.

For example, say you’re at her house and she is making cocktails for the obligatory #preparty. She asks you to try the drink she just made to make sure she did a good job. Being the kind soul that you are, you oblige.

This small request is then followed by yet another small favor.

This said friend now wants you to take another sip because she is not sure you got enough of a taste for it the first time. So once again, you oblige.

Something goes awry after favor 2 has been completed.

After all of your good deeds have been completed, you somehow end up dazed and confused. Maybe you are just overwhelmed by the amount of niceness you have put into the universe today or maybe it’s whatever was in that damn cup you were drinking. But either way, things have quickly become hazy. The next thing you know, you wake up on the floor of your friend’s house the next morning. At least it’s a comfortable floor and they gave you a nice blanket but whatever! That’s not the point. The point is, what the hell just happened?!

I know what you’re thinking now! You think just because this story has to do with alcohol that it is okay to do other favors for your friends. This is false! All the favors you do will lead you to experience the confusion and hazy feeling I am talking about even if alcohol is not involved. So just don’t do it!

I’m not saying blacking out is a bad thing. I just think it needs to be a personal decision I make, and not one I was tricked into!  #prochoice

The moral of the story my friends, is to always say no and never be nice to anyone because we all know what happens when you give a mouse a cookie!