How to Travel Through Time

Hello my fellow girly girls!

I know the first thing you are about to say to me is “where the hell have you been girly girl?!” And yes, I will admit I have been M.I.A for quite some time, but I do have a good excuse. I have been time travelling!  And now you’re like yea right girly girl, that’s impossible, don’t try to fool me. But it’s true!

Along with being an extraordinary girly girl I also happen to be a scientific genius and have figured out the exact mathematical formula for traveling back in time. But I must warn you before I provide you with these steps, time travelling is not as much fun as you would think. It’s actually a huge pain in the ass. You’ve been warned.

If you chose not to heed my advice and still wish to proceed, below please find the steps for your no fun adventure into the past.

1.) Run into your ex-boyfriend at a random location

It is key that you haven’t seen said ex for a prolonged period of time because this will send your body into shock. Be aware that the shock you feel when you encounter this unwanted person will trick your body into thinking you are happy to see him. The shock will make you forget that you actually despise this fellow and the air he breathes (this is proven science, I swear). 

  

2.) Rekindle the flame with said ex

In a blink of an eye the two of you will begin reminiscing about all the good times you used to have together. Maybe you’ll even return to some of your old hangouts. Everything will be perfect, right? No my friend! The answer is obviously no. 

3.) Break up over the exact same reason that broke you up many years ago

In this moment you will be transported directly into your past life. You will have the exact same conversation you had so many years ago and say the exact same things you said to each other. Soon enough you will feel the exact same way you used to feel. You will wonder to yourself why you decided to travel through the space-time continuum in the first place.  

4.) Start dating the same boyfriend you dated after your break up with your other ex

This is the most critical step in the time traveling process. You have to follow the above referenced steps to a T with yet another ex. This is the only way you will truly get a feel for the past. Date at least one or two other exes.The more exes you date, the further back in time you will go! By this time you will finally come to the conclusion that history is boring and stupid so leave it in the past.

Stay tuned to see if my magical scientific powers ever help me create a way to travel so far into the future that I actually forget I have dated people from digging through my own trash.

Xoxo

Girly Girl