The Girly Girl's Survival Guide: How to Be Offensive

I often come across people whose behaviors are very displeasing to witness. It confuses me to observe these people in action because I don’t know where they came from or how they decided to do the things they do. It perturbs me to think that they were raised to lack basic social graces.

So please avoid doing any of the following actions so as to not make me vomit at the sight of encountering these behaviors.

1.) Take longer than 15 minutes to return a text message

Not much can irk me more than waiting and waiting to get a response to a text message. What could you possibly be doing in your life that could be more important to responding to me in a timely manner? If you have done this in the past, you should be aware that even if I don’t admit it to your face, I probably secretly hate you. So step up your texting game!

2.) Wear sweats in public

Sweats were originally created for the comfort of your own home and for sleeping purposes. It is acceptable to wear sweats while working out and going to the grocery store but that’s it! Besides this, sweats are not acceptable as daily attire. They aren’t the prettiest things to look at and they make you look sloppy. Do you want to look sloppy? I didn’t think so! So at least slap on a pair of leggings or something before you step on to the streets and force everyone to look at your attire.

*Side note: A place where sweat pants is especially unacceptable is at work. It just doesn’t look professional.

3.) Have a picture of you kissing your boyfriend as your facebook profile picture.

Kissing is not very attractive to watch. The only time people kissing ever turns out to look good, is when it is in a movie. So if you don’t have a full cast and crew making sure your make up and lighting is perfect for your kiss, don’t make me watch it! Otherwise it will just look sloppy and gross. Also, it comes off as a bit desperate to need to put a picture of you making out with your boyfriend as a profile picture. It is as if you are saying “Look at me! Someone wants to kiss me!”

*Side note: Kissing on the cheek is acceptable in pictures, but a full on make out is just disgusting. So be courteous of your friends and don’t force them to look at such things.