How to Know if you Caught the Cray Cray

The worst has happened! You are going through life pimpin your pimp game with no feelings whatsoever when suddenly it hits you!

The F word! No not that one. Get your minds out of the gutter. But this F word is even worse! You have caught the Feelings! When you catch feelings for a guy there is no stopping it. Your first thought is that you’re pissed at your BFF because you’re pretty sure you caught it from her when she was obsessed with that guy from the bar last week. And now she passed it on to you. Bitch.

But beware my friends; no amount of B-12 and all the Z packs in the world will not get rid of this cold.

1.) Once the feelings have struck, an ion goes off in your brain that will make you act completely irrational (this is science I swear). You’ll go through all his Facebook photos and analyze every girl who has even sneezed next to him.

“I’m way cuter than her.” You’ll say. 
“Umm . . .that’s his aunt” Your friend will remind you.

2.) Next, your entire self worth will be tied up in your phone. You will check your phone every 5 minutes on the dot. When there is no new text from this guy you will die a thousand deaths.

You are annoyed once you realize the only texts you do have are from your parents and your bestie asking to go party. Doesn’t she know you’re still mad at her for giving you this stupid disease?! Leave me alone!

3.) The final step is that you will start to concoct strange scenarios to try to run into him again.

Well . . . he told me he eats food. Maybe I’ll just go to every restaurant in LA tonight to see if he’s there.

But listen and listen closely my friends. Under no circumstances will you do anything with the crazy thoughts swirling around in your head. YOU WILL DO NOTHING! Don’t call him, text him, FB message him. Lie still my young grasshopper. Just promise me now!

I’m sorry my friend, the cray cray has overcome you and there is really not much to do but wait it out. Like any other cold, the answer is alcohol. Drink these thoughts away until he texts you. Because let’s face it, he eventually will. And then you can return to your normally cool and collected self.