How to be Irresponsible

After a long year of working hard and thinking way too much, we all reach the point where we just want to shut off our brains and not do anything. Even if we still have obligations that we must uphold, sometimes you just want to say “Fuck it! I’m just going to lie in bed and be counter-productive!” This mentality will inevitably turn around and bite us in the ass but in the moment it feels great!

What people don’t realize though is that it’s harder than you think to be irresponsible. You have to really try and make the conscious decision to be that way. Below please find the proper steps to take if you wish to be careless with your life.

1.) Drink on a weeknight.

If you are out of college this is no longer acceptable behavior. I even have3 a hard time accepting this, but if you are a grown up, you have to act accordingly. If you are an adult with a job, I can guarantee that the quality of your work after drinking will drastically deteriorate. As someone who once went to the completely wrong meeting because I thought it was Thursday instead of Wednesday, I can promise you that partying on a week night is never a good idea!

2.) Completely disregard the fact that you have tasks to take care of for the day.

You have to fully recognize that you have business to take care of and actively dismiss these thoughts to do something completely useless. Maybe you have homework due tomorrow or a blog post to write but you decide to go to Taco Tuesday or Thirsty Thursday instead of doing what you are supposed to do.

3.) Stop paying attention to detail and neglect simple yet important tasks.
For your convenience, I have listed some small tasks that can have big consequences if you decide to be reckless.

-- Locking the door when you leave the house
-- Making sure you did not accidentally lock your cat in the bathroom before you left the house.
-- Making sure you turned off your flat iron before you leave the house
-- Making sure your house is not going to completely burn down in your absence.

I hope these steps have been helpful in allowing you to be irresponsible in a more efficient manner.

How to Be Bamboozled

Believe it or not, everyone in the world does not always have your best interest in mind. In fact, a lot people you encounter will most like be trying to get something out of you and con you! So beware of those of the fraudulent nature!

There is only one step to make sure that you do not get bamboozled in life, it is listed below!

If it sounds like it’s too good to be true, than it probably is too good to be true!

So if something ever comes up and you think to yourself “this is just too good to be true!”, be warned that you are about to be caught up in some type of a scam. I have listed some examples of things that are too good to be true to help you notice them when you come across the signs.

1.) Opportunities that will jump start your career and make you rich over night.

I had one such encounter happen to me a year ago.

Back in the day, when I was trying to be an actress, I was waiting in line for an audition. While I was waiting, I was approached by a woman who gave me the opportunity to have a free career consultation with someone who had actually been successful in acting. How could I turn down such an offer? So I went to the building for my consultation and was immediately taken a back by the atmosphere. She had forgotten to mention to me that my consultation would be at a religious organization.

I proceeded anyway and after talking to a man for about half an hour, he informed me that he knew exactly how he was going to make me famous! He told me all I had to do was take this one class that was $80 and all would be right with the world. He told me how he saw me winning awards and being ridiculously famous. Well, I took the $80 class and all I have to show for it is my lighter wallet! And clearly I am not an international sensation, so the class failed!

2.) Weight loss fads.

If you hear about a magic diet or pill that will make you lose 50 pounds in a week, the commercial ad is probably lying to you! Sorry to have to break the news to you, but the only way to really lose weight is to exercise and eat right!

3.) A guy falling for you too quick.

Say you meet a wonderful guy. He is loving, affectionate, sensitive and on top of it all, he likes you a lot! He professes to you how much he cares about you and how he can’t imagine his life without you! If a guy is making confessions like this very early into knowing each other, there is no way he actually means it. He is just spitting game at you and trying to get in your pants! (And I’m not saying that’s a bad thing, but you should be aware of what you’re getting into!)

I once had a guy tell me how much he cared about me when we had only been dating a week! A week is not enough time to know how you feel about anything!

And now you know the ways of the con artist. So don’t let yourself be a victim to one of the many scams out there!

How to Be Political

We live in America, the land of the free, the land that cherishes freedom of speech and the thoughts of individuals. But this raises the question of can you be too opinionated on issues? The answer is yes! It seems like everyone has to chime in with their personal thoughts on every little meaningless issue and it is simply not necessary. Most of the time, I hear people getting worked up about things while I’m thinking to myself, “Who Cares”

My advice to you chatty Cathy’s out there that feel the need to give social commentary on every thing is twofold:

1.) Think to yourself first: “Is this issue actually important or am I just bored and want to listen to myself talk?”

I believe it is important to reflect on issues before we get worked up about them only to realize that they were trivial to begin with. Some examples of people getting way too worked up over thing are listed below:

a.) People suing McDonalds because they gained weight from eating their food.

What a waste of a political issue! You cannot blame a food establishment for your obesity unless they held a gun to your head and forced you to swallow that third Big Mac. And this issue actually made it to the courthouse.

b.) People striking at the airport because of enforced security.

The strikers in this case were particularly annoying because they were slowing down the already tedious activity of traveling. If they are so against the pat downs then maybe they just shouldn’t travel. Besides, I always say that it’s better to be safe than sorry!

2.) Focus on one political issue that speaks to you rather than getting all riled up about every little gust of wind that floats by.

Not everything needs to be a political issue so we should chose our battles wisely. Choose one topic that you truly believe in and make that the cause you support.

Make sure that your cause is actually worth your while and is a serious issue facing society. My personal political issue of choice is the annihilation of onions. They are the most disgusting food on this planet and they all must be destroyed!

How to Pick A Roomate

There comes a time in everyone’s life where we all have to choose a compatible roommate to live with. This decision is not to be made lightly because it could make or break your happiness for the rest of your days living with that person.

Below are steps to take to ensure that you choose the appropriate roommate.

1.) Make sure he or she is not a chronic dieter.

If your roommate is always on a diet, this will be trouble for you. First of all, people on diets are hungry and hungry people make for angry people. They will soon turn their aggression towards you and try to take out their frustrations on you. Also, there are some crazy diets out there whose ingredients will affect your life as well as theirs.

I once had the displeasure of living with the ultimate dieter of all time. She was always trying different foods that would make you lose weight. On a particularly horrific week for me, she decided to go on a cabbage soup diet. In case you didn’t know, cabbage soup smells really bad! Not only does the soup smell but it made her extra smelly herself, if you catch my drift. So I was living in a smelly hell hole! Needless to say, I had to cut the strings on that relationship ASAP! On the upside, she actually did lose weight!

2.) Make sure they are not a slut.

Although sluts are fun to hang out with and can make good friends, you do not want to live with one. This will constantly put you on awkward situations that you do not want to be in at your own house. A slut will bring many different partners to your place all the time and cause you to be sexiled from your own place. Plus, you don’t want a bunch of creepers over your house every night.

3.) Make sure they aren’t straight up crazy.

This should be common knowledge to you. If you encounter any signs that indicate to you that the person you may be living with is not all there then run in the opposite direction. It’s not like they are going to get saner as time passes. If they are an alcoholic, addicted to drugs or perhaps still obsessed with their ex boyfriend, take this as a sign that you should keep it movin. So find out about their past and make sure they don’t have any stories that reveal to you that they are batshit insane.

Now go forth and find people who are fun, social and respectful of your living environment. Also, it is bonus point for you if you live with a girl with a boyfriend. She will always stay at her boyfriend’s place and it will be like you have your own place! So good luck finding a roommate that you can live in harmony with.

How to Be Offensive

I often come across people whose behaviors are very displeasing to witness. It confuses me to observe these people in action because I don’t know where they came from or how they decided to do the things they do. It perturbs me to think that they were raised to lack basic social graces.

So please avoid doing any of the following actions so as to not make me vomit at the sight of encountering these behaviors.

1.) Take longer than 15 minutes to return a text message

Not much can irk me more than waiting and waiting to get a response to a text message. What could you possibly be doing in your life that could be more important to responding to me in a timely manner? If you have done this in the past, you should be aware that even if I don’t admit it to your face, I probably secretly hate you. So step up your texting game!

2.) Wear sweats in public

Sweats were originally created for the comfort of your own home and for sleeping purposes. It is acceptable to wear sweats while working out and going to the grocery store but that’s it! Besides this, sweats are not acceptable as daily attire. They aren’t the prettiest things to look at and they make you look sloppy. Do you want to look sloppy? I didn’t think so! So at least slap on a pair of leggings or something before you step on to the streets and force everyone to look at your attire.

*Side note: A place where sweat pants is especially unacceptable is at work. It just doesn’t look professional.

3.) Have a picture of you kissing your boyfriend as your facebook profile picture.

Kissing is not very attractive to watch. The only time people kissing ever turns out to look good, is when it is in a movie. So if you don’t have a full cast and crew making sure your make up and lighting is perfect for your kiss, don’t make me watch it! Otherwise it will just look sloppy and gross. Also, it comes off as a bit desperate to need to put a picture of you making out with your boyfriend as a profile picture. It is as if you are saying “Look at me! Someone wants to kiss me!”

*Side note: Kissing on the cheek is acceptable in pictures, but a full on make out is just disgusting. So be courteous of your friends and don’t force them to look at such things.



So next time you think about doing these things, consider your fellow humans and how rude it would be for you to subject them to such atrocities.

How to Know If You Have a Chance

If you happen to have an abnormally large ego and believe that anything you desire should and will be yours, you probably share these same attitudes in your view towards men. I know that I often believe that if I really want something or someone, I will definitely be able to obtain it. Although this may be true for the most part, there are certain situations that you CANNOT win. It’s best for you to know now before you put out your best efforts then lose the battle. When you are not able to woo you desired interest under these circumstances you cannot take it personally. So don’t let your ego get bruised and realize that the matter is completely situational.

Below are the two situations in which you can’t compete for a guy in because unfortunately, you will not win.

1.) Time
Even If you are gorgeous, have the best personality ever and share all the same interests as this guy, if he knew a girl before you it’s hard to compete with that. It’s hard to compete when the other girl has time on her side. She has had more time to get to know him and he has had more time to learn about her and like her.

2.) Type

You can’t win a guy over if you are simply not his type. If a guy just doesn’t like a girly girl, than I’m screwed and just have to accept my defeat and move on to the next one. If you have a type, you are well aware that it is hard to imagine yourself with someone who does not fit it. And you don’t want to be with someone who isn’t attracted to you anyway.

So keep these tips in mind for your future conquests and don’t get too offended when you can’t win the guy over. We can’t win everything so just keep it pushing and find someone who is actually interested in you!

How to Create Awkward Moments

Every once in a while we all stumble upon uncomfortable situations that make us die a little inside. We do or say something that is absolutely humiliating and we cannot escape because a magic disappearing pill has not been created yet. So instead, you have to grin and bear it as if you are not having an internal breakdown.

But maybe some of you out there enjoy utter humiliation. And for those of you, I have listed the steps that will allow you to do so.

1.) The Handshake vs. The Hug

This happens when you just meet someone. You guys get along great and seem to be really hitting it off. Your phenomenal conversation has now come to an end and it’s time to say goodbye.

The question is: how close do you want to get to them after your brief encounter? The awkward moment is prompted when you extend your hand for the handshake but they opened their arms for the hug. Now they think you don’t like them that much because you went for the handshake. When really you just didn’t want to invade their personal space. I cringe just thinking about this!

2.) Get in an elevator

The elevator is a breeding ground for awkward moments because you are stuck in there and cannot escape until you get to your destination. Even though you are in an elevator for at most 45 seconds, it can seem like years! And so much can go wrong in such a short period of time. I have listed some key elevator scenarios below for optimal awkwardness:

a.) You step on someone’s foot. You apologize but you can feel their resentment towards you and have to endure it for the rest of your ride.

b.) You see an acquaintance and greet them when they get in the elevator. Now that you spoke to them you have to stress about carrying on a conversation for all 12 floors when you wanted to conversation to send at hi.

c.) You see someone dashing for the elevator and you lean in to push the close doors button. Despite your best efforts, they still manage to get in and now you look like a douchebag (which you are).

d.)  You bring up a topic of conversation to a friend in the elevator. An eavesdropper does not like your point of view and chimes in. Now the rest of the people in the elevator are subjected to your passionate debate with a stranger.

3.) Talk about people in close proximity to you.

Sometimes we just have a story to tell that’s just too juicy to wait until you are alone. So even though the person you want to discuss is right there, you decide that if you whisper the details to your friend, no one else will hear. Let me solve the mystery for you. The person you don’t want to hear will ALWAYS hear! Even if they don’t confront you about it, a menacing question of whether they heard you or not will be swimming around in your head until the end of time.

Although these awkward moments embarrass you to your core, you can’t live without them. It provides you with a little dose of entertainment and a nifty story to tell at your next party. Although, telling your embarrassing stories might be creating another awkward moment in itself.

How to be Considerate of Others

Unfortunately, grotesque human beings walk the streets of this planet everyday. And although I try my best to avoid them, they somehow always mange to find me. These people go about their lives thinking that they are the most amazing people ever. They believe that because they are so amazing, they do not have to be concerned with anyone else around them or how they might be affecting them. Oddly enough, just about everyone thinks they can do this and this causes troubles in society when everyone believes they can do what they want.

And I am here today to help all of us self-absorbed people to be more considerate of the people around us. Below are simple steps that will allow you to appear as if you are a Good Samaritan:

1.) Wear deodorant

There is NOTHING ruder than allowing innocent bystanders to smell your nasty stench from afar. They did not ask to be violated in such a way and they never did anything to you so WHY ARE YOU HARMING THE EARTH?!

I had a horrific encounter with one of the such just the other day. This is truly a traumatic tale so beware! I was working on my inner zen in a yoga class, when a strange and mysterious man suddenly appeared. He put his yoga mat down next to mine and began to practice some basic poses. Along with the poses came a waft that my nostrils had never had to endure before. The instructor kept saying that yoga is all about breathing, but what was I to do in such a situation?! I became weary and almost fainted from the stench but was determined to finish. I came out alive, but others may not be so lucky. So help out the community and slap on some Degree!

2.) Don’t snore!

Not only is this the most annoying sound ever known to mankind, but it is also very disruptive. So if you are planning on having a little sleepover with a special someone, don’t do it!

You may say, “snoring is uncontrollable, how on earth do I stop myself from doing it?” And my response to you is that I have no idea how you stop yourself from snoring, all I know is you must do anything and everything in your power to keep that awful sound from escaping your mouth! It is gross and highly unattractive, so work it out!

Hopefully these tips will allow us all to live our lives in peace and not have to encounter ghastly odors or hear tumultuous sounds. So get out there and do your part to make the world a better place!

How to Get Over A Guy

It happens to everyone, you lock eyes with that attractive someone and you are immediately smitten with them. You barely know them but are positive that you two are destined to be together for the rest of your lives! This great feeling of lust soon passes after about five minutes and you realize that this relationship can only lead to trouble. Although the love was strong, it is now time to get over your lusty feelings and move on. Girls often get all emo and cry “Why can’t I get over him, I want to move on!” This is just over dramatic because in fact, it is very simple to get over a guy.

All you have to do is follow the below steps:

1.) Envision him with a mustache.

No one looks good with a mustache! Even the most attractive celebrities can’t pull this look off.  So paint an image of him in your head with a mustache and your lusty feelings will melt away quicker than you can say “Shave that thing off your face!”

2.) Make him show interest in you.

Do whatever it takes to get his interest. Even if it means talking about something that you know nothing about, like football! Once he is attracted to you and actually wants to get to know you better, you will find that your interest will dwindle down to zero! We think that all we want is to get that guy of our dreams but we just want to know that if we wanted him we could have him. We all like the chase! Once he likes you and you know you can have him, you will tire of the game and move on to the next one!

See how simple it is! You can be on to your next target with little to no time at all if you follow the above steps. Just try not to break too many hearts while you’re out there playing the game!

How to Be Picky

The downfall of being an extraordinary girly girl includes the fact that you then must find an extraordinary manly man to share your throne with. He has to be absolutely amazing and damn near perfect if he thinks he has a chance with you. Many say that this means you are too picky. But what is the alternative to this? That you date any random guy that so happens to cross your path? ABSOLUTELY NOT!

There is nothing wrong with being persnickety in choosing who you will associate with. In fact, this is a sign that you respect yourself because you will only surround yourself with people who are as amazing as you are. So I say set as many crazy standards as you can for your potential guy and if he can’t live up to your standards set him free because he does not deserve you.

In hopes to help you with your list, I have listed my requirements to date a guy:

1.) He respects me

2.) He is smarter than me

3.) He is better looking than me

4.) He has a better job than me

5.) He is at least 6’3

6.) He does not wear sandals

7.) He is an athlete (not just any athlete, he needs to be the best at his sport. It is not acceptable to date 2nd string athletes)

8.) He is clean cut (this means no beards!)

9.) He is relatively fashionable

10.) He is related to royalty.

In retrospect, this is a rather short and simple list that should be easy to obtain, no? Or maybe there just aren’t as many fish in the sea as people claim there are. Either way, I am not lowering my standards so this means someone better be man enough to step up to the plate. And you shouldn’t settle for less either!

How to Be Lazy

There is nothing less attractive than a person that is super lazy and just has absolutely no motivation to accomplish something with their life. Don’t get me wrong here, I often have my own bouts with laziness but then realize that it’s a disgusting habit and need to get on with my life.

Below are signs that you or someone close to you needs to get up and do something immediately!

1.) If you wake up later than 10:00am on a week day.

Productive citizens are already out and about in society hustling and bustling about while you are still deep in dream land. You need to wake up every morning with a purpose and a sense of accomplishment. You don’t want to feel like your only purpose in life is to waste space.

*Side note: This rule does not apply to students. That would be very hypocritical of me because when I was in college I NEVER woke up before noon. Good times!

2.) If you are at work and are asked to do something and your response is “I’m too busy”

If someone ever says this to you in an office setting, I give you permission to slap them across the face. Not a hard slap though, one that just gives a stern warning. When people say “I’m too busy to do what you are asking me to do” it means “I am a really lazy person and although I am paid to do what you tell me, I would rather not do it because I suck”

"I am just way too busy right now"

3.) Hit the snooze button more than 3 times in the morning.

As a perpetual snooze button hitter, I know that this is a sure sign of laziness. I am pretty sure that those extra 10 minutes of sleep I get in the morning do not give me that extra energy boost I need to power me through the rest of my day. Unfortunately, knowing this does not stop me from hitting it over and over again.

4.) If you decline to go to an event because you would rather sleep than go out.

As put by NBC daytime television, “these are the days of our lives”! And we must live them to the fullest, not waste our life away in bed! After all, what is more likely to be a story you tell your children when you are older? Are you going to say “OMG, there was this one night where I went to bed super early and got a good night’s sleep”? That is the most boring story ever!

So lazies, fight your urge to sit around and do nothing. Suck it up, drink a Red Bull and go accomplish something with your life. So let’s leave the laziness to the sloths instead. Wow, all this writing is making me need a nap!

How to Get Out of a Ticket

Every once in a while it is inevitable that you will have a run in with law. This could be the slightest little action, such as getting a parking ticket or simply bumping into a police officer in line at the grocery store. What's important is how you react to these situations once you are in them. You need to find a way to wriggle yourself out of these tight spots and come out looking clean and pristine! :)

Below please find the necessary steps to take when your time to face the law comes.

1.) Act as if you have absolutely no idea why you could have gotten pulled over.

Examples:

- "WHAT? I had no idea I was going a hundred miles an hour?! I thought I was driving so slow.
- "My tail light is out? No way!"
- "This is a stolen vehicle? I am astounded!"

Even if you may know exactly what you were doing wrong, never admit it! Sometimes you have to play dumb because everyone doesn't always need to know every little detail of your life!


2.) Give him those puppy dog eyes.

Use your eyes to tell a story. Make yourself look as if you are as innocent as a lamb and make sure he believes it.

Side note: *A good way to get this look is if you get that subtle glaze over your eyes that comes before you are about to cry.

3.) Compliment him on doing such a good job at protecting the community.

Make him believe that you trust in the justice system that he has preserved for us.

ex: "Thank you for pulling me over because you have now made me a safer driver because of it sir"

It does not matter if you actually believe anything you are saying, as long as you get the words out of your mouth. These are the words that will get you off with a warning rather than a ticket. I'm trying to save you money here! So next time you feel like you may be in a jam, remember these steps and I guarantee that you will not receive that ticket that you probably deserved. :)

How to Heal A Bruised Ego

Healing a bruised ego after a blow to it can be a very distressing situation. Your ego needs to be nurtured and cared for to bring it back up to par with its usual standards. Although it may seem difficult at first, if you follow the steps below you will be back to your old big headed self again in no time at all!

1.) Put on your sexiest outfit and go look at yourself in the mirror for a minimum of an hour.

It is important that you pick this outfit out solely for your eyes only. It's as if you are seducing yourself. Then go look at yourself in the mirror and remind yourself that you are the hottest shit EVER! Just keep telling yourself this until you truly believe it. Then and only then can you step away from the mirror.

 

2.) Call up that old friend of yours.

Everyone has that one guy that for some reason worships the floor you walk on. Although you are not that interested in him, he is willing to hang out with you whenever you need him and will compliment you all night long. After one night out with this guy you will remember how desirable you really are.

 3.) Hit the club and get back out there!

A night out with your friends at the hottest dance club will immerse you back in to the game. Plus, dancing to your favorite jam at the club will make you feel sexy again while having a blast. There is nothing sexier than dancing.

It may be difficult at first to think that you will ever be as conceited as you once were when something breaks your ego. But you have to have faith that everything will be the way it once was again. And I guarantee that these steps will get you back to being a narcissist ASAP. So get your cocky self back out there! :)

How to Humble Oneself

As a mathematician I know that equations are very plain and simple with only one answer. Two plus two will always be four, correct? Well the other night I encountered an incident that disproved all of my prior schooling.

I began to flirt and spit my game at a guy I met at a party. Things were going well and I felt like the biggest pimp ever until the guy then actively made the decision to walk away and go flirt with another less attractive girl (apparently my flirting skills are not what I thought they were).

At the sight of this atrocity I was shocked, floored. . .FLABBERGASTED! My ego was immediately squashed like a tiny bug. This proved all of my previous scientific research to be wrong! The equation to this problem involves simple proportions:

Hot
______
Less hot  = HOT

The equation states that when hotness is divided by less hotness being more hot will always prevail.

I had to swallow a large helping of humble pie at discovering this (*side note: Humble pie is not as delicious as other pies and has a bitter after taste to it). My ego had never felt such a thing before!

I then realized that occasionally eating some of this pie can be healthy for you because although it does not taste good, it is very nutritious. It allows you to not become too full of yourself. Sometimes you need some gravity to bring you back down to earth. This was a lot to digest in one day. As you can imagine how traumatizing it must be to have your entire belief system shaken to its very core.

In an effort to alleviate my pain and salvage my belief in humanity, my friend disclosed to me an inspirational quote that gave me a better understanding of society. She said "guys don't want to drive a decked out red Ferrari every single day, sometimes they just want to drive around in their old reliable Honda."

Then the world made since to me again! Sometimes we have to just eat crow and accept that the Ferrari isn't always going to be the best vehicle. But in my case, I think I just need to find a guy that has better taste in cars.

To find out how I survived my bruised ego, tune in tomorrow.

How to Flirt

One of the most important skills a girly girl can have in life is to be able to flirt with a guy and win him over. Although it takes a lot of talent to pull off such a task, it can be done when the appropriate steps are taken. You also must be very committed to the cause of getting this guy. Flirting without that feeling of eager lust is just no fun!

Please follow the steps below to win over the object of your affection.

1.) Speak to him with your eyes.

It’s all about the eyes! People underestimate the power of talking with your eyes. Tell him exactly what you think of him without saying a word. Tell him “I want you” without actually saying it. This will be the method that you reel him in with. It will get him to come up to talk to you and make him think it was his idea.

 

2.) Make fun of him a bit.

Teasing him will give you the upper hand and let him know that you are light hearted and don’t take yourself too seriously.

3.) Make a point of contact

Find a reason to make physical contact with him.

Ex: Oooo your shirt is so soft, I’ve never felt cotton like this before.

Yes! It’s corny but you don’t need to be the wittiest person in the world to make your move. You just need to make sure he knows you’re interested. And touch will give you a real sense of if there is any chemistry between the two of you.

4.) Back off

Okay, you have done your flirting and let him know that you’re into him. Now it is his turn to do the work. Walk away and get away from him so he doesn’t think you like him too much. Make him chase you a bit.

DISCLAIMER: Throughout your flirting experience, under NO circumstances should you be the one to initiate further contact. He better be the one to ask for your number or lean in for the kiss. As you may know, desperate is never cute. Now that your pimp game has been solidified, get out there and get EVERY guy you want. With the skills I have armed you with you can take your pick on any guy of your choosing. It’s like shopping! :)

How to Treat People You Hate

Ever so often, I will come across a person that I absolutely cannot stand. For some reason or another they have made my shit list in life. And once on this list, it is rather hard to get off of it. It will take a lot of sucking up and flattery to win me over again. Maybe this person disagreed with my opinion on something or doesn't like Taylor Swift, but whatever your reason is, it is important to know how to interact with the people you can't stand.

I hope the steps below will enlighten you on the process of dealing with the recipient of your animosity.


1.) Greet them with a very sweet nickname

ex: Hey hun!
ex: Hey doll!
ex: Hey girly!

You do not want this person to know you hate them so it is better to sugarcoat your hatred with kind words. They hear you saying "Hi sweetheart!" when the undertones of your sentence are saying "Hey Bitch!"

2.) Give them a back handed compliment.

This will serve you with entertainment because they will not realize you are mocking them but your friends will. This will make you feel good about yourself because you will be making everyone else aware of how stupid they are for not reading your underlying messages.

ex: I love your new highlights! They are so streaky!

3.) Make sure to emphasize your joy of seeing them.

ex: It is so nice to see you!
ex: I miss you!

Some people may refer to these steps as being fake, but essentially it is  the only way to deal with someone you dislike because you never know when you will need to call in a favor to someone. And it is much easier to get something out of someone if they think you actually like them. Even if it's someone you hate, you have to pretend to get along with them because if they knew you didn't like them a battle may ensue. Fighting dramatic battles is always a waste of energy and also does not make you look cute. So remember guys, keep your friends close but your enemies closer!

How to Know If a Guy is Untrustworthy

As you may already know, there are plenty of guys out there that are completely unreliable and should never be trusted even for a second. Often times, against our better judgement we decide to give the poor chap a chance. This is when they prove to us that your first instinct to not believe anything they say was correct! At this point you can only blame your self. But the guy gave you signs that he was a questionable character right from the start. You just didn't know what the signs were.

This is how you will know if the guy you are dating should not be trusted under any circumstances.


1.) He has a sissy dog

This is a very shady situation. At this point you need to put him under the microscope and examine the type of person he is. It is unnatural for a man to be prancing around with a miniature poodle, tea cup terrier or a Chihuahua. Don't worry girls, your relationship can be salvaged! Just switch his dog for a Pitbull or a Rottweiler. I guarantee that under these circumstances your relationship will flourish!

2.) He keeps his phone on vibrate.

As a shady person myself who always has their phone on vibrate, I can tell you that no good will come of this. Phones are meant to ring! And if they aren't doing their job there is a problem. He most likely does not want to draw attention to the people that are contacting him because they probably shouldn't be contacting him to begin with. Watch out for this one ladies!

3.) He doesn't like avocado.

Avocados are simply the BEST things in the entire world! How can you not like the best thing ever? This means that he is a pessimist and does not understand how the world works! (it runs on delicious avocados!)

Now that you know what traits to look out for in a guy, you should be able to go out into the world and make good decisions about the guys you date. And if you go against my cautionary advice then you can't blame me when your fling goes sour. So watch out!