How to be Professional

Corporate America can be a tricky thing to navigate sometimes. Mainly because you haven’t gotten over your resentment of the fact that you actually have to work everyday and didn’t just marry royalty. I can’t even get into it; it’s a sensitive subject.

But if you have to work for a living (I don’t recommend it), then you might as well be running shit, right?

Below are the steps to maintaining professionalism in the office.

Wear slutty clothes to work

The shorter the skirt the better! After all, how else do you think you’re supposed to get a promotion? Your MBA from Harvard will be of no use to you if you don’t have the proper curve hugging outfit and stripper heels.

Start a torrid affair with one of your co-workers

Who doesn’t love a good office romance? That is how all the great relationships started! Pam and Jim or Angelina and Brad?

Besides, work would be so boring if you really had to just come in and work. This provides an element of entertainment to the boring work day. This will be extra entertaining when you guys break up and still have to see each other everyday.

Tell your co-workers all your personal business.

Leave nothing off the table when making small talk with your co-workers. Make sure they know everything from your sex life, your blackout last night and the time you almost got arrested. They will respect your honesty and leadership skills.

*This is a disclaimer to any readers who haven’t picked up on my finely placed sarcasm in this article. I don’t actually think you should do these things-duh!