How to Unsubscribe from Douches

It may have taken you a minute to figure it out, but you finally realized it! The guy you are dating is an asshole and you are now over his whole life.

Maybe you saw him flirting with another girl in front of you or you caught him in a lie, either way, you are dead to me and I never want to see you again. I can’t be bothered wasting my time trying to figure why this guy doesn’t know how to behave in the presence of royalty.

So the question is, how do you convey these emotions to this guy in a clear and succinct manner so that he never makes contact with you again? Lucky for you, I have come up with quite the simple solution!

1. He texts you
2. You type UNSUBSCRIBE
3. Press send

This should get the message across quite clearly. If he has any dignity, he will let it go there. But being the irresistible girly girl that you are, most guys can’t just let it go and insist on begging for your forgiveness. They will attempt to explain why they behaved the way they did. Just ignore them and if they still continue to text- try UNSUBSCRIBE one more time to make sure your message was received.

EXHIBIT A

Yes, these are my actual texts with a guy. You can just call me the Taylor Swift of the blogging world. If you date me, there will be a post about it! :) 

 A little advice when unsubscribing- this will only work if you have gone on 0-3 dates with this particular guy. Any more and they start to get needy and are going to want more of an explanation for why you never want to speak to them again. #sorryimnotsorry