How to Be Lazy

There is nothing less attractive than a person that is super lazy and just has absolutely no motivation to accomplish something with their life. Don’t get me wrong here, I often have my own bouts with laziness but then realize that it’s a disgusting habit and need to get on with my life.

Below are signs that you or someone close to you needs to get up and do something immediately!

1.) If you wake up later than 10:00am on a week day.

Productive citizens are already out and about in society hustling and bustling about while you are still deep in dream land. You need to wake up every morning with a purpose and a sense of accomplishment. You don’t want to feel like your only purpose in life is to waste space.

*Side note: This rule does not apply to students. That would be very hypocritical of me because when I was in college I NEVER woke up before noon. Good times!

2.) If you are at work and are asked to do something and your response is “I’m too busy”

If someone ever says this to you in an office setting, I give you permission to slap them across the face. Not a hard slap though, one that just gives a stern warning. When people say “I’m too busy to do what you are asking me to do” it means “I am a really lazy person and although I am paid to do what you tell me, I would rather not do it because I suck”

"I am just way too busy right now"

3.) Hit the snooze button more than 3 times in the morning.

As a perpetual snooze button hitter, I know that this is a sure sign of laziness. I am pretty sure that those extra 10 minutes of sleep I get in the morning do not give me that extra energy boost I need to power me through the rest of my day. Unfortunately, knowing this does not stop me from hitting it over and over again.

4.) If you decline to go to an event because you would rather sleep than go out.

As put by NBC daytime television, “these are the days of our lives”! And we must live them to the fullest, not waste our life away in bed! After all, what is more likely to be a story you tell your children when you are older? Are you going to say “OMG, there was this one night where I went to bed super early and got a good night’s sleep”? That is the most boring story ever!

So lazies, fight your urge to sit around and do nothing. Suck it up, drink a Red Bull and go accomplish something with your life. So let’s leave the laziness to the sloths instead. Wow, all this writing is making me need a nap!