How to Day Drink

Every girly girl knows that going out at night to drink is so last season. The only real way to get through life is to day drink. It can add life to even the most boring of events. What was once the snooze fest that is being at work or going to church, is now a party or a borderline rave due to our dear friend, alcohol.

Day drinking isn’t for just anyone though. It is a highly exclusive group. You have to be able to understand the multilayered nuances that allow you to thrive in the chaotic environment that is day drinking.

That’s why I’m here to make sure everything goes according to plan. If you’re going to do it, you might as well do it right!

It all starts with brunch.

Brunch is the fundamental part of the journey you are about to partake in. When choosing a restaurant to kick of your day, make sure that they have bottomless mimosas. This is key. Any brunch place that doesn’t offer bottomless mimosas is a disgrace to humanity and you might as well just go eat at a food truck.

Water

Don’t think I’m lame for suggesting you throw some water into your agenda. I am usually an advocate for drinking as little water as possible while drinking. I can’t have water trying to ruin my buzz! Hell no!

I will make an exception to this rule if it’s daytime though! It gets hot during the day and next thing you know, you’re passed out from dehydration after that last shot. That is so not cute. Pull it together dude! #notcute

Pace yourself

Unlike night drinking where you must sprint to the finish line, you must move at a slower pace when drinking. After all, you have all day! The key to day drinking is longevity. It’s so important that I’ll say it again. LONGEVITY! You can’t be the girl who’s blacked out at 12:00pm. You have to at least make it to 5:00pm. 

Don’t go to fucking sleep!

Another critical step in day drinking is not going to sleep after brunch has ended. If you go to sleep you will never make it out into the world again. This is scientifically proven information! I have tried many of times to take a nap after drinking all day and have never succeeded into making it out after. #Bitchdontkillmyvibe