How to Get Along with Your Hair

I don't know about you guys, but I get into altercations with my hair on a daily basis. We have physical fights in which my hair always wins! Every day I try to stand up for myself and say "You are not going to bully me anymore, you will do what I tell you to do!" But my hair says "Hell no, I want fly free and not be constrained!" And because my hair has all the power in this relationship, I eventually concede and do what it wants.

When my hair and I fight, I often like to threaten my hair. I tell it,

1.) I will put my flat iron on the highest setting and burn you!
2.) I will put you up in a bun!
3.) I WILL CUT YOU!

My hair never believes my idol threats so I've found that it is most effective to be nice to it and just talk about it behind its back instead. We are frenemies in essence. I'll deep condition you hair and keep you healthy but watch your back, I will be back for my revenge one of these days!

So my hair advice to you is to just pretend like you get along so you can present a united front to the public and save the fighting for your private moments together.