How to Lose Weight

Many people often complain about their weight and say that they would like to lose a few pounds. I don't understand what all the hoopla about losing weight it. It is actually quite easy you see. There is a myth out there that says that the only way to lose weight is to exercise and eat properly, well I am here to tell you that you have been lied to all these years!

If you follow these steps below you can lose a large amount of weight in a very short amount of time. 


1.) Fall madly in love with the man of your dreams and have a despairingly tragic break up.

There is no better diet than heartbreak! The pain is so consuming that you will completely forget that you wanted to stuff your face with that third slice of cake. Also, all the crying you will do will get rid of excess water weight. The best part about the heartbreak diet is that you won't even notice you have been losing weight until BAM one day you are all of a sudden 10 pounds thinner. It's like magic!

 2.) Manage to contract a cold virus

If you can somehow manage to catch a cold you are in good fortune for your diet plan. I'm not talking some life threatening disease here. Just something that will make you miserable for a few days. If you should be so lucky to find and attain food poisoning you are in for a really special treat. Food poisoning will have you fitting into your new club dress in less than 24 hours!

So go make a valiant effort to get depressed and be sick and you will notice the pounds just shedding off! You will be rocking those skinny jeans in no time. Good luck!